You're an astronaut
by bobkitty1123
Summary: Jade and Tori are forced out on a date and more happens then they ever intended. Takes place during 'Tori and Jade's Play Date'. JORI. ONE-SHOT.


**A/N - **I just saw Tori and Jade's Play Date and there is so much Jori fodder there. I don't know how many more stories I will write (thought I'm busy), but I don't think this will be the last. So excited. XD

Disclaimer: If I were the owner of Victorious, it would be Tori and Jade's Date, and they would have kissed.

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><p>I wish I had never put my hand in that box.<p>

I know it seems like there was no way out of it, but maybe I could have insisted Robbie go first, or fish around more before pulling a name out. Yet, there was no way I could have known that I'd end up as Jade West's husband.

Yes, you hear that right. I'm just as shocked as you are.

To make matters worse—much, much worse—I got the script finally. And no matter how many times I squeezed my eyes shut and wished a different stage direction on the paper, it didn't change:**Walter leans in and kisses Nancy passionately.**

Those seven simple words made my stomach drop and my throat constrict. Jade West was the last person that I wanted to have to kiss. I would even kiss Sinjin or Robbie a million and one times if it meant that I didn't have to touch my lips to that _demon_. I mean, she punched Sinjin once because he asked if he could have her pudding cup—apparently PMS was a good reason to break his nose, and no one refuted that her claim. Maybe they were afraid of having to go to the nurse too.

The memory gave me an idea though. What if I were too sick to do the role? Then my understudy, Robbie, would have to fill in, and as guilty as I felt sticking him with that she-beast, he'd love to kiss any living, breathing girl.

"I don't feel so good, Sikowitz," I whined, clutching my stomach.

Jade was glaring at me from the stage. Was that anger I saw? She must have been mad that she didn't think of it sooner. We had to run six lines before I doubled over in pain.

"Too bad. Act through the pain, Tori!" He announced dramatically, shoving me back towards the stage. He thrust the script into my hands as I went, and eased into a seat. "The show must go on!"

I gulped and faced Jade. The script was literally trembling in my hands. I couldn't do it. Wasn't there some rule about same-sex kisses in the school guidelines? Of course not—Hollywood Arts was an open-minded school. Too bad for me.

"Oh, Sikowitz, I'm suffering from a big case of wimping out!" Jade hissed at me dramatically, using that fake accent that didn't sound like me, and pressing her hand to her forehead. I felt the anger boiling under my skin but before I could snap back at her, Sikowitz yelled, "ACTION!"

"Nancy you're so—"

According to the script I was supposed to fall asleep _into _Jade. So that's what I did. Next thing I knew, my face was pressed into Jade's boobs and Sikowitz was thrilled with the results. He wanted us to do it that way every single time. At least she smelled good, I guess.

"WALTER!" Jade shrieked. She was too good at that.

The next few lines came in a blur. That one moment was getting closer and closer. My skin felt tight and itchy. The room was shrinking.

"You're an astronaut." Jade said softly, trailing her fingers down my arm. Her hands were so cold that the hair on my arms stood on end. I rubbed my arm nervously, and at that moment my throat seemed to shut.

"I love you." I said, trying not to let my voice shake.

"I love you." Jade said.

She leaned in. Her black painted lips puckered. I wanted to shy away but a good actress would never do that, and no matter how much Jade would say I wasn't any kind of actress, I really wanted to be.

"STOP!"

At first I thought maybe I yelled it.

I turned to see it was Sikowitz. "It's not convincing enough." He crossed his arms. "Meet me at the sushi place, Nozi, tonight. And no buts."

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><p>I never expected that Sikowitz would just leave us there. Jade and I were now on a date.<p>

At least that's what Sikowitz told us before running out of the restaurant.

Now you may ask why we don't just leave. Well, if either of us leaves, Sikowitz's spies would rat us out immediately and we'd both get F's. My skin felt all tight and weird again. Jade sneered at me and I realized that this was going to be a long night.

"There is no good reason why you and I shouldn't be able to sit here together and have a conversation." I told Jade.

"I can give you a reason: I don't like you." She told me in a hiss.

"You can't think of one thing you like about me?"

Surely, despite what she said, she couldn't hate me so much that she couldn't come up with at least one thing that she didn't absolutely hate about me. If she couldn't, well that showed me where we stood. As I watched her come up with something, I wondered if maybe she didn't hate me as much as she led on. I mean, why would she even try to come up with something if she didn't at least care somewhat? Or maybe she just didn't want to fail.

Whatever her reasons were, she said, "You're songs aren't so awful." Then she paused. "Now, let's hear you say something nice about me."

I thought a moment. "I admire that you're never afraid to speak your mind."

Her lips quirked up at the edges as she snapped, "That's stupid."

This was actually pretty good—even with the setback. At this rate we could satisfy Sikowitz demands and maybe do the scene better. I knew that Sikowitz would say something about Jade and I becoming closer, but as much as I tried to befriend Jade, I knew that would never happen.

It's was Jade turn to compliment me again. "Uh…I guess, some people, might say that from certain angles, you're pretty." She told me.

I was bracing for the subsequent, biting comment. Yet, when I looked up at her, instead of seeing a tremulous expression on the Goth's face, I saw light pink spreading across her face. Was Jade West blushing? It was incomprehensible. I tried to come up with explanations: _She was just mad; she was thinking about Beck; maybe it was a reflex. _None made any true sense.

"You could say I'm pretty." She told me, her voice tampering to a whine. Her tone was desperate. I bit my lip and returned to my food. I felt her glaring at me—like she _needed_ to hear it.

"You _are _pretty."

And it wasn't a lie.

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><p>I couldn't believe Chad and his friend.<p>

They were so oblivious. Obviously, Jade and I just wanted to be left alone. They were creepy, annoying, and rude. And neither was particularly cute.

I could see Jade getting increasingly angrier as time stretched out. Her scowl grew deeper and deeper until she finally elbowed the guy right in the gut. The boy buckled over, but in another moment was back again and drooling over Jade's shoulder. She had a right to be upset, though I refused to hurt Chad. It was unnecessary—and as his friend had demonstrated, they wouldn't even be fazed.

I shoved a piece of sushi in my mouth, trying to dodge Chad's question.

At that moment, I felt him.

His hand was touching my breast all of a sudden. He didn't just brush me though—nothing that could be mistake as an accident—but grabbed me. The touch startled me and I yelped, but Chad's hand didn't retract.

I didn't actually see Jade move, but next thing I knew, Chad was rolling on the ground and clutching his face. His friend was gone already (some friend, huh?), and Jade didn't seem to notice. She stood over Chad and hissed venomously, "Don't you dare touch her. She is so much better than you will ever be. S-she's—" Her voice trailed off and realization crossed her face. I don't know what that realization was, but she took off.

I stood there a moment, looking down at a bleeding Chad. _Baby. _

Then I snapped out of it when Sinjin called out, "I have to call Sikowitz. It's not twelve yet."

Groaning, I stormed over to him. "It's ten minutes 'til. You dial that phone and I'll have Jade do the same thing to _your _face." Sinjin frowned, but my intimidation was effective. He put the phone away.

I spun on my heel and stormed out of the restaurant. Outside Jade was standing on the edge of the curb. She wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth. It seemed like nervous habit but I had only seen Jade nervous once, and that's when Beck and her were fighting.

"What was that about?" I asked warily, and she spun on me in surprise.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Her scowl seemed to speak for itself.

"Why did you hit Chad for me?" I needed to know. I don't know why but I just couldn't go home knowing that Jade knocked out a North Ridge boy for me. Just a few minutes before she couldn't even come up with one single thing that she liked about me. Why would she bother defending me?

"I…" She had nothing to say.

It was just a fluke, a reflex perhaps. Maybe she would have done it for anyone.

"Well, I just—"

She cut herself off—and now had me pressed up against the wall of the restaurant while she kissed my brains out.

Her lips were soft, softer than I imagined, and tasted like soy sauce. At first I attempted to push her off—which consisted of me placing my hands on her stomach and then just leaving them there—but just let her kiss me. I still didn't move my lips even though I wanted to kiss back. I just froze as my mind screamed to get away. _Warning, warning, Will Robinson!_

Then, she was gone again.

I wondered if she would be a good escape artist, because one minute we were pressed against the wall, and the next she had untangled her hands from my hair, and was disappearing into a black car. Her mother waved from the driver's seat before Jade slammed the door shut. Then my date was on her way home.

And I was left more than a little confused.

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><p>I didn't see Jade again until the play.<p>

Sikowitz—having been told by Sinjin that his plan worked—decided to leave all our new "creative energy" until the opening night. While it managed to save us a few days of having to see one another, it made all the feelings and confusion come crashing back down as I waited in the wings.

Jade didn't seem too confused as I studied her from a distance, her usual scowl on her face, but I felt like my face was a Picasso painting. I wanted to scream, cry and laugh all the same time. Jade left me confused which made me frustrated which made me sad. And the whole idea of Jade kissing me practically left me rolling on the ground. Yet whether the laughter was genuine or my way of coping with this new onslaught of feelings, I couldn't be sure. And those feelings, you might ask. Well, I might find Jade a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty, little bit attractive, and funny, and smart. I didn't like her though—not like _that_. She was still the devil-incarnate.

Finally it was my scene.

I strode out in a moustache and khakis and started running my lines. I had them memorized so well that I did them without any thought. I just hoped that in this strangely cationic state that I was still showing the necessary emotions. From the crowd's rapt attention, I was sure that I was.

Then I was to fall into Jade. Now it felt awkward—face-planting in her boobs—but it had to be done. The crowd giggled and I stayed there a moment, snoring.

"WALTER!" Jade screamed, just like the first time.

Now I could remember in vast detail our first near-kiss. I remember her smelling good, like apples and vanilla, and her breath blowing over my lips. The way her eyes looked right into mine despite this only being a stage kiss; she could have stared at my nose and it wouldn't have made a true difference. And the way I nearly shivered when she touched me gently. It was all a mass of feelings rolling over me like waves.

"You're an astronaut." She told her, her tone affectionate.

"I love you." I said softly, feeling lightly embarrassed.

"I love you." She told me back, staring me right in the eye. She didn't blink, but instead just smiled. It was as if she forgot that there was a play going on. I cleared my throat.

She snapped out of her daze and launched towards me. I could see instantly that this wasn't her intention. And when I say launched, I mean that she crashed into me. I managed to catch her, hold her out at arm's length a moment, and then I abruptly leaned into kiss her.

I think that she was surprised. It was just a stage kiss that was nearly ruined by her nervous clumsiness, but I initiated it. It didn't matter who did the kissing when it came to the play, but by taking charge I realized that I made a statement.

But that didn't matter at the moment. Jade's tongue was in my mouth, and I was right about the apples. Her mouth was the right amount of rough and gentle, and the teeth was a subtle but nice touch. Shivers ran up and down my spine, and after a moment we realized that we were still kissing. We broke apart panting, and around us the crowd exploded.

We took our bows and rushed off stage—to kiss more, of course.

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><p><strong>AN -** ONE-SHOT and I mean it. Reveiw plz!


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